Halloween Remembered
by sbishoff
Summary: Mark is having some problems as Halloween approaches.


Author's Notes: This is in response to a Halloween Challenge.

The characters do not belong to me. They are the property of their original creators.

Halloween Remembered

by Susan Bishoff

Judge Hardcastle pulled the truck to a stop and watched as McCormick exited the vehicle, grabbed a bag from the truck bed, and then walked toward the house. The judge had no idea what had happened to change his friend's mood, but something had definitely done just that. The younger man had seemed excited about getting candy for the kids that would be coming to Gulls-Way that evening for treats. But suddenly, his whole demeanor went from anticipation to indifference, and Hardcastle was at a loss as to what had brought about the change.

As the judge followed Mark into the house, he was met by Sarah. She studied the jurist's face, and asked, "What happened? Mark seems upset. Did you two have a fight?"

"NO, we didn't have a fight! Why do you assume every time he's upset that we had a fight," the jurist responded gruffly.

Sarah just ignored the judge's outburst. After working for the man for many years, she knew the best way to deal with him was to simply let him rant, and then he would respond more reasonably.

Having voiced his frustration, he shook his head, and said more calmly, "I'm sorry, Sarah. I don't know what's wrong with the kid. He was fine when we got to the market, and then all of the sudden he just clammed up. He's been acting like he couldn't care less about Halloween."

Sarah thought as she listened to Hardcastle speak. She could tell he was as perplexed by the change in the younger man's attitude as she was. When he had left earlier, Mark could barely contain his excitement of handing out candy to the kids, and seeing all the costumes they would be wearing. When he returned, the ex-con was quiet, and remote. Sarah hadn't seen this side of him in a long time and it concerned her to see Mark so closed off. She sighed, and then said, "Something must have upset him."

"Yeah, but I don't have a clue what it is. I didn't say anything to him other than asking him what kind of candy he wanted to get. When I asked him if anything was wrong, he just said nothing and nothing else," Hardcastle stated.

"Well, all we can do is let him know we are here if he wants to talk," Sarah said, and walked into the kitchen.

As the judge walked to the den, the trip to the market and back replayed in his mind as he tried to determine what had upset McCormick.

_The ride to the market had been peaceful, well as peaceful as if can be with one occupant of the truck talking excitedly, and the other alternating between amusement and frustration._

_"We need to get more than one kind of candy, so we can give the kids a variety," Mark said for the fourth time since leaving the house._

_"Listen kiddo, you've already said that, and I've agreed, so just sit there and keep quiet. I agreed to give treats to the kids before the party tonight, and we're getting the candy for it, so you can relax," Hardcastle said for the second time in the last ten minutes. He didn't want to let McCormick know that he was getting caught up in his excitement, but the ex-con was getting on his nerves with all the talking and constant fidgeting._

_"Okay, Judge," Mark replied, and then added, "I can't wait to see all the kids in their costumes. I wonder what we'll see more of; ghosts or superheroes?"_

_The judge took a deep breath to calm him self, and to keep from snapping at Mark for not being quiet. He had learned a lot of things over the year since Mark had come to live at the estate, one of which that holidays had not been something he could look forward to or had any reason to for many years. Knowing that, the jurist tried to overlook his young friend's over exuberance, and instead tried to make them something for him to look forward to again._

_"Hard to tell with kids nowadays. When I was a kid, we used to dress up as cowboys or some other real hero, not these super heroes kids worship today," the judge replied._

_McCormick snickered, and said, "I bet you went as the Lone Ranger, or maybe you went as his horse."_

_"Keep it up wise guy, and I'll hang you from the basketball hoop, and tell everyone you're dressed as a basketball," Hardcastle retorted, and turned to look out the driver's window to hide his smile._

_Mark chuckled, and leaned back in the passenger seat. The rest of the trip passed quickly, and soon the two men were looking at all the different candy choices, and trying to make their picks._

_McCormick picked up some Snickers, and put them in the cart. He then said, "We've got to have some of these. What about some M & M's and Clark Bars?"_

_"Those sound good," Hardcastle said as he added a bag of Baby Ruth. He turned to look back at the aisle to see if there was any others he wanted to pick up, either for the kids or the party. No seeing anything else that he craved, he turned toward Mark, and asked, "Are you ready to go?"_

_"Yeah, let's get out of here," McCormick stated, his voice flat, and his face set. He walked ahead of Hardcastle and headed to the checkout. Once there, he started putting the bags on the conveyor._

_The judge studied Mark's face, but all he could see was that Mark was carefully keeping all emotion from his face. Hardcastle paid for the items without comment and then followed Mark after he picked up the bagged candy._

_During the ride home Hardcastle tried to coax Mark to talk, and each time was met with short, abrupt answers. He finally gave up, and let the kid stew in silence._

As the jurist sat at his desk, he couldn't help thinking, 'I don't know what set this off, kiddo. Somehow, I'd bet it has something to do with your father. It's only been a month since we came back from Atlantic City, and although he hasn't said much the past few weeks, I know he's still upset about how meeting his father went. Don't know how to help you unless you tell me what the problem is.'

Hardcastle knew Sarah was keeping Mark busy in the kitchen, and thought maybe she would able to get him to talk. The judge also knew that sometimes M feels more comfortable talking to her, especially if it's something about his past. Hardcastle suspected that it was because it was hard for him to talk about those times, and he wasn't the best when it came to dealing with emotional concepts. He was trying to be better at it, and McCormick was starting to open up more, but at times still turned to Sarah first.

Hardcastle had to be honest with him self and admit that that fact did make him jealous, but he also had to admit that it was his own fault for being so detached himself. Deciding that there was nothing he could do unless Mark came to him, Hardcastle started hanging the decorations for the party later.

00000

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Mark was placing the bags of candy on the counter when Sarah walked back in the room. As he took the bag of Baby Ruth out of the grocery bag, he thought, '_Why'd I have to go and think if __**him**__ today. Hardcastle and I were doing just fine and I had to remember what I said about Hardcastle looking like Babe Ruth.'_ He shook his head to rid it of his depressing thoughts, and put the candy on the counter. He wanted the party to be fun for the judge, but couldn't help thinking about the man who left him again in Atlantic City.

Sarah watched silently from the doorway as she entered the room, and then asked, "Mark, are you all right?"

McCormick turned at Sarah's voice, and smiled at her reassuringly. "Sure Sarah, I'm fine," he replied, his eyes not reflecting the happiness the smile implied.

"Did something happen at the store, or with Judge Hardcastle?" she asked, not ready to let the subject drop. Her eyes clearly showed her concern for Mark.

Mark's smile faded, and he said quietly, "Nothing happened with Judge Hardcastle. I just remembered something today at the market, and it made me think about Sonny."

Sarah understood immediately why Mark was upset. He had told her what had happened in New Jersey, although she knew he had left out some of the details. He had told her that he knew Sonny hadn't wanted to break into the safe, but that Hardcastle had let him believe it. He admitted to her that although he suspected the truth, he couldn't bring himself to ask the jurist at the time because he desperately needed to believe that Sonny cared for him.

Mark never expected Sarah to defend Sonny to him or to try and explain his actions, and he was grateful to her for not trying to. He needed the honest support he received from her as he struggled with his disappointment and feelings of confusion. He knew that without Sarah to talk to he would still be feeling there was something lacking in him that made his father decide to leave him twice.

Just as he was grateful to Sarah for her comfort, he was also grateful for the support Hardcastle showed him by flying across the country with no clue why they were going to Atlantic City, and then for distracting him after being abandoned again.

Mark knew the jurist was worried about why he was upset, but this was such a stupid thing to get upset over and he was embarrassed that he had let it get to him in the first place. He met the housekeeper's gaze and smiled at the compassion he saw there.

"Would you like to talk about it?" she asked.

"It's stupid. I shouldn't have gotten upset in the first place," he responded.

"If it was enough to upset you, it's not stupid," she replied. She moved to the refrigerator, and said, "Sit down, and I'll get us some tea. You can tell me all about it, and I'm sure you'll feel better once you do."

Mark recognized the tone to Sarah's voice. It was her 'You might as well just get it out, because you're not going anywhere until you do,' tone. He pulled out a chair and sat down.

Sarah poured two glasses of tea, and handed one to Mark. She took the seat next to him, and said, "What happened?"

Mark took a sip of his tea, and asked, "Do you remember me telling you about telling the Judge that he looked like Babe Ruth when we were talking about fathers?"

Sarah nodded, and waited for the younger man to continue.

At Sarah's nod Mark continued, "I talked to the Judge about it a few days after we got back, and I understand what he was trying to say. I know he wasn't rejecting me, just stating a fact about Sonny. Anyway, while we were at the market, Hardcastle picked up a bag of Baby Ruth for tonight, and I remembered that day again."

Sarah understood how the simple act had brought forth unpleasant memories for Mark. She reached out to touch his hand, and said, "Mark, I'm sorry that you're still hurting from Sonny leaving."

Mark smiled a small smile, and said, "Thanks Sarah, but that's not all I remembered. I also remembered the first Halloween after he left."

Sarah hoped Mark would continue to tell her how he felt, but knew he would not if she pressured him to do so. She said, "Mark, you can tell me about it if you want to." She then waited to see if he would.

McCormick met Sarah's eyes, and decided to tell her the story. As he did, the images played in his memory once again.

_Donna McCormick entered the small apartment, and placed the box on the table. She then looked toward the fire escape. She found the window closed just as she expected, and for a moment almost wished to see her small son sitting there. She knew she would find him in his room staring at the wall, and it broke her heart to see him so lost. Ever since he asked her a week ago if his daddy was coming back, and she had to tell him no, he had been so depressed. All she wanted was to have her happy little boy back again, but she knew that it was more than she could hope for now._

_She walked down the hall and stood quietly in his door watching as he lay on his bed. His back was to her, but she could tell from his quick breathing that he was trying not to cry. As she watched her son struggle to accept that his father was not coming back, she once again cursed the man who had also broken her heart when he walked out the door. She didn't have the answers Mark needed, because they were the same answers she needed; to know why the man who swore he loved them both so much could just decide to leave them without so much as a goodbye. As she watched her son, she silently asked 'Sonny, how could you do this to your son?'_

_Donna walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. As she did, Mark turned onto his back, and said quietly, "Hi Mama."_

_Donna could see her son had been crying earlier, and smiled at him warmly. "Hello, my treasure. Did you have a good day at school today?" She chose not to comment on his tears as it only upset him more._

_"School was okay," he replied, and moved to turn toward her._

_Donna didn't hesitate to take Mark into her arms. That he didn't refuse told her how troubled he still was. She gently rubbed his back, and wished that by doing so she could wipe away his sorrow._

_After a moment, Mark pulled from her arms and said, "Thanks, Mama."_

_"You're welcome dear. Now go get washed up for dinner. I brought home some chicken from the diner," she replied, and kissed his cheek._

_"Okay," Mark replied, and went to do her bidding._

_Donna walked to the kitchen to heat up their dinner, and to think about how to bring up the subject of Halloween with Mark. It was a week away, and if she was going to have time to make his costume, she was going to have to get started soon. She knew that she was going to have to watch their money more carefully now that Sonny was gone, but she was determined that Mark would have a good Halloween if she had anything to do about it. It was bad enough the man left on his birthday, but she wasn't about to let him ruin every holiday for her son. Whatever Mark wanted to be this year, she would see that he had the costume._

D_onna knew that before Sonny left, Mark wanted to dress up as a singer, so he could be like his dad. He and Sonny had made big plans about him being all dressed up, and Sonny taking him out trick or treating. Sonny had even promised to take him to the community center for the community Halloween party. Now Sonny was gone, and with him so were his promises._

_Mark walked into the kitchen, and took his seat at the table. He waited until his mother placed his plate in front of him, and then bowed his head for grace._

_Donna said grace, and waited until Mark had started eating. She then asked, "Mark, Halloween is next week, and I need to get started on your costume. Have you decided what you would like to be?"_

_Mark didn't look up as he replied, "A pumpkin."_

_'__A pumpkin' Donna thought, not sure she had heard him right. "Did you say you wanted to be a pumpkin, sweetheart?"_

_"Yeah," he replied, and took another bite of his chicken._

_Donna knew Mark never had a great love for pumpkins before and wondered over his costume choice. "Why do you want to be a pumpkin?" she asked._

_Mark dropped his fork, and looked at her with tear-filled eyes. "Because they don't leave," he replied, and ran from the table._

_Donna felt another ache in her heart for her son's pain, and felt a tear glide down her cheek as she sat there stunned. Each time Mark was hurt by his father's abandonment, her heart broke a little more. There was nothing she could do to ease his pain except be there for him, and show him that she loved him, and always would. As she stood to follow her son, she vowed that if he wanted to be a pumpkin, then he would be the best one this city had ever seen._

_Donna walked into Mark's room, and took him in her arms. She rocked him, and said, "Sweetheart, I'm sorry your daddy left and I know you're hurting. I'm here for you, and I love you very much."_

_Mark turned his tear-stained face to her, and replied, "Daddy said he loved me too, and he went away. Are you going to leave me too?" With that question, he broke into a new set of tears._

_"Mark, please listen to me. I don't know why your daddy left. But I'm not going anywhere, at least not if I have a choice," Donna reassured her son. She continued to hold and rock him until he calmed down. As he quieted, she asked him, "Mark, do you really want to be a pumpkin?"_

_"Yes, I wanted to be a singer like Daddy, but I don't want to anymore," he answered._

_"Okay, Sweetheart. I'll get the material and things I'll need to make the costume tomorrow after work. If you decide you want to be something else before morning, just let me know," she stated. She wanted him to know he could change his mind if he wanted to._

_After a moment, she asked, "Do you want to come finish your dinner?"_

_"I'm not hungry," he replied, and then said, "I think I just want to go to bed."_

_"All right," she said, and laid him on the bed. "I'll be in later to tuck you in," she added as she stood. With one last glance at her son, she walked from the room._

_00000_

_Over the next week, Donna worked on the Pumpkin costume for Mark. She wasn't sure how he would like it once it was done, but she was determined to make the best costume she could._

_It was now Halloween, and she was putting the finishing touches on the costume as she waited for Mark to get home from school. She had dinner in the oven, and planned on enjoying a quiet evening with her son before taking him out to go trick or treating. She had switched shifts with another waitress so she could be off this evening, and was looking forward to spending time with Mark._

_00000_

_Later that evening, Mark and Donna returned to their apartment. They were both tired, but happy. Tonight, Donna had seen glimpse of her son as he was before his father left, and it gave her hope that he may be learning to live with his father's absence. She knew that like her, he would always miss his father and what could have been, but maybe he would be able to enjoy life and all it had to offer. That was all she could hope for._

_A short while later, as she tucked her still excited son into bed, Donna was thankful for the joy shining in his eyes. She bent to kiss his cheek, and inhale his scent that she treasured and held close to her heart. When she leaned back, she smiled at him, and said, "I'm glad you had a good time tonight, sweetheart."_

_"It was great, Mama. Everyone loved my costume. They said they hadn't seen such a cute pumpkin before, and I told them my Mama made it for me. They said you must love me very much to make me such a nice costume, and I told them that I loved you too. I loved the party at the center. You promised we would go, and we did. You never break your promises, not like Daddy. I love you Mama," Mark said. His eyes were starting to droop now that he had relaxed and was lying still._

_Donna tried to swallow the lump in her throat at her son's words. All she could manage to say was, "I love you too, Mark." She sat with him until he was asleep, and then quietly left his room._

_As she entered her room, she let the tears fall, and thanked God for the gift of her son. The future might not be as smooth as she would like, but she had Mark, and he made every day worth the effort it took to get through it. As she went to bed, her thoughts were on the happiness on her son's face and her heart was set with determination that she would do everything she could to see that he had many more happy days._

00000

Mark's thoughts returned to the present as he completed his tale. He remained silent as he thought about that day long ago.

Sarah smiled as she saw the happiness reflected in the younger man's eyes, and said, "It sounds like you had a nice time trick-or-treating with your mother."

"Yeah, I did. When I thought about that Halloween earlier today, all I remembered was that Sonny wasn't there to do the things he promised. I forgot all about how Mama made me that great costume, and how much fun we had. Funny how one thought can keep you from remembering that something good may have come from the bad," Mark replied.

Sarah nodded, and said, "I know what you mean."

"Yeah, after Sonny left, Mama and I got really close. She tried to make every holiday special, even when money was tight. Most of them were, but not for what we had, but because we had each other. She always kept her promises, even when she was sick and we knew she wasn't going to get better. She promised to always be with me, and she is. Sometimes when I was all alone, I would forget that, but I know now that she was still with me then in here," McCormick stated, and touched his chest over his heart.

"Yes, she is always with you," Sarah replied.

"You know, Hardcastle always keeps his promises too, and he makes sure I know he wants me here, just like my Mama," Mark stated. After a moment, he added quietly, "I could never tell him that, though. He'd think I was getting all wishy-washy, and he hates that."

Sarah smiled as she saw the kitchen door slide closed. She knew the jurist had been on the other side of it for several minutes, and was glad he had heard Mark's admission of his feelings for the judge. She also knew he would never let on that he had heard anything, as it would embarrass both men.

00000

As Hardcastle returned to the den he felt a warmth in his heart at the words from the ex-con. As he passed his wife's picture on the mantle, he asked, "Did you hear that? I don't think he could have paid me a higher compliment."

A few minutes later, the judge's heart rejoiced again upon hearing the familiar call of "Hardcase, what are you doing sitting in here. We've got a party to get ready for."

Hardcastle made a show of grumbling as he rose from his chair, but knew the ex-con wasn't fooled. He walked over, clasped the younger man on the back, and growled, "Then get a move on, McCormick!" He then walked into the kitchen to see what needed done.

Mark laughed as he watched the jurist leave the room. His last thoughts before he followed him was that like that Halloween so long ago, this one might be a lot of fun, even if Sonny wasn't there. He realized that there were people in his life that cared, and he didn't need to waste time worrying over his father. If Sonny didn't want to have Mark in his life, then Mark would have to accept that, and make the most out of his life as he could.

The End


End file.
